So I just came back from a Singles' Retreat... The main focus was How To Avoid Marrying a Jerk(ette). It was fantastic!! I have a lot of things to say, but not enough time. I'm tired, gotta brush my teeth, and have an exam to study for. I'll be back though!!! With pics and all... Ok...Here we go!! The singles' retreat was FUN!! Nevermind the fact that we ended traveling 2 hours in the wrong direction when it was originally suppose to take us 2.5 hours to get there, but we still had fun on the way there. Needless to say we missed the WHOLE first day. We were part of the unfortunate group who couldn't miss class and go down there early session 1 started at 6 and we didn't get out of class until 5:15, so we knew we wouldn't make it there on time anyway. We basically got to the hotel, ate and went to sleep because we had to get up extra early to play catch up with the rest of the group. Overall I found the retreat very interesting...some of the things we discussed to look for in a potential mate...I never thought of. So here's the main point of the retreat: Definition of a jerk(ette) - lacks insight, no control over emotions, and persistently resistent to change Patterns usually stay hidden with someone until about 3 months Check out family history, "generational curses", how they interact with their family. It is better to connect with someone the same faith background as you. There are 5 keys things you need to have established in a relationship: KNOW, TRUST, RELY, COMMIT, and TOUCH. One should never outweigh the other... ie...an example of someone who is a 1 in Know, Trust, Rely, and Commit, but a 5 in touch...That's an example of someone you took home from the club. The moment one heavily outweighs the other you're putting yourself in a bad situation Get to know people in different settings...For instance, if you are dating someone in college...make sure you get to know them OUTSIDE of the college campus environment The person's relationship with the same sex parent is how they view THEMSELVES and the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex is how they view YOU. For instance...If my mother is confident and a no mess kind of woman...That's how I am. If my father spoils me and gives me everything I want. I'm gonna expect the guy I'm with to do the same. A child often grows up to be like the parent they connect the most with... be it good or bad. Couples who date for 2 years are less likely to divorce For my opposites attract folk....Odds are....That what attracted you to them when you date is what's going to irritate you when you get married. Commitment and Touch (Sex) are meant to be in balance People who cohabitate have a higher rate of divorce The choice of your partner is greatly influenced by your lifestyle. There was a lot more but that's all I'm going to say. You want to know more?? Read the book!! How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk(ette) by Dr. John Van Epp or go to www.nojerks.com | 
